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Archive for September, 2009

my choice, for better or worse

Posted by joezissss on September 24, 2009

i have often thought to myself that God is powerful. somewhere along the line in a theology class, the traditional notion of omnipotence was challenged (and soundly defeated). the word omnipotence is nowhere to be found in scripture and although “almighty” is, the understanding of God’s power has at least 2 contrasting views: a Hellenistic and an earlier Hebrew point of view. culturally, people like to think of their deities as limitless and powerful. who wants a wimpy god? and so the Greeks told tales of gods who controlled life and death, the afterlife, thunder, rain, and other larger-than-human-life things. a display of power was the same as flexing infinite biceps or pecs. on the other hand, rabbis told a different story.

consider a brief story: two men and their daughters are camping alone through the countryside when they are attacked. their children are kidnapped in the chaos and the fathers are left near death. it just happens that the men have a particular set of skills and experience that make them very dangerous to bad people such as the ones who took the daughters. so they recover and set out to find the basterds who did this. invariably, their search is successful and they free their children, and end up with the criminals at gun point. the first father pulls the trigger without hesitation. the second puts his gun down and pulls the other dad away preventing further bloodshed.

who is more “powerful” in that scenario? the one who carries out the extent of possibility, ending a life? or the one who has the same chance but restrains, regardless of how badly he wanted to exact retribution?

the Hebrew view was that restraint was exhibition of power beyond anything a display of power could ever show.

it’s far more important for me to be on the side of the “most” powerful than to grapple with the impossibility and circles of logic when people stomp their foot and frown and insist that God is “all” powerful.

there’s a guitar player who once remade a hymn and added this chorus that blew my mind:

“There is an eye that never sleeps
Beneath the wing of night,
There is an ear that never shuts
When sink the beams of light.
There is an arm that never tires
When human strength gives way,
There is a love that never fails
When earthly loves decay.
But there’s a power which man can wield
When mortal aid is vain.

That eye, that arm, that loves to reach
The listening ear to gain.
That power is prayer which soars on high,
Through Jesus to the throne,
Which moves the Hand which moves the world
To bring salvation down, bring salvation down.”

besides the creepy Eye of Providence reference and some slightly gray theological statements, the idea that words uttered from my dry and cracked lips can set in motion the hand of God, or stay it, as Moses did, blows my mind.

which brings us to this. knowledge is a power of sorts, and we often lack power ourselves simply because we have a distorted view or incomplete picture of ourselves as individuals. there are things that you, dear reader, see about me that i have missed or choose to overlook. and in your hand, you hold the power to transform a part of me. and when you restrain those mighty and astonishing words, you dam up the change that is within my grasp, but out of my reach for whatever reason.

i do the same thing. i don’t delude myself into thinking i’m deeply intuitive or discerning. but i see things that you may not see, i recognize symptoms and toxic patterns that you unwittingly live out time and again, and i silently allow you to cut yourself or purge or self destruct or bow to your self-imposed slave driver or allow yourself to wallow and waste away.

for some, i don’t have the voice to intervene. you haven’t granted me access to that VIP area of your life… and unwanted, uninvited over-intimacy is a shining definition for rape.

for others, i simply watch. there’s no good or redeeming reason. i may have said something to you in the past that you ignored and i have this crazy mellow-dramatic idea that my words are valuable because they are not common. a wedding ring with a semi-pave corn kernel setting will simply not fly. no store accepts pesos for dollars at a one to one exchange.

for whatever reason, i observe. quietly. watching. knowing and understanding now and then. but my silence is consent, and this is my first attempt to break it. and to brake it.

so, for you, the friend that defines yourself by what’s wrong with you and by what you lack, look up. and to you, the friend that shoe-gazes when the world is your oyster, reach out. and you, too, the friend that discounts your own worth by knocking zero’s off your price tag and calling the clearance sale price fair, look in. and to you, the “out of control” one, you who throw yourself at undeserving manipulating nobodies and calling it destiny, look again. to the friend who dares not to light a fire again because of how badly you were once burned, pick the lighter up again. not for a cigarette, but for your heart.

lift your eyes up.

where does your help come from?

Posted in culture and society, journal | 7 Comments »

a peculiar societal norm

Posted by joezissss on September 15, 2009

ever since i started at my new hotel, i’ve had multiple conversations with people about whether or not i have kids and when i’ll have them and then when it’s discovered that i don’t want any (oh the horror!), i start having all sorts of interesting conversations. a few days ago, i came up against my toughest questioning, a nice girl who’s my age and has 2 kids of her own. now, we come from vastly different backgrounds, but she used adjectives like ’sad’ and ‘lonely’ to describe childless adults such as myself. and so, i’m renewing my self-exploration as to what it is that makes me not want kids, especially when so many people can’t wait to pop the buggers out.

it’s very important that anyone who reads this should understand that i’m not making judgements and that i don’t apply the standards to which i hold myself to anyone else. people who want kids should have kids.

 however, i’ll go ahead and throw some kindling on whatever fires of controversy burn on whatiseikon: if you have 6+ kids, you have too many. you know it, your kids wearing the 12 year old Lee hand-me-down jeans know it, the people who are around you know it and they talk about you with a mixture of fear, disbelief, and disdain. nobody cares about Jon or Kate. everybody wishes Nadya would just go away. (6 is an almost arbitrary number: the Sanborns have 5 kids and Gilbert and Cherie are just about the greatest parents i’ve ever seen. so i’m going to guess that any more and their heads would melt into a ball of mush. anyway, on to my list.)

-first and foremost, there are too many people in the world. there are 6.7 billion people estimated to be running around this great planet. Chad thinks that i’m wrong when i say that the world isn’t designed to support a population of this sheer size. that’s because he’s silly. feasibly, a finite number of resources could be shared to support an almost infinitely increasing population assuming that everyone played nice and shared and took what they needed. look around and ask yourself, “do people play nice?” i’d like to contribute my life to the benefit of the world, not the overpopulation of it.

-google and read about the sixth extinction. nuff said.

-the US consumes about 25% of the world’s energy yearly. we have about 5% of the world’s population. China, on the other hand has 20% of the world’s population (and is growing 5.5% per year). so if they decide we’re using too much energy (bear with me here), they could make a compelling case at chopstick-point that we need to hand over our incandescent bulbs and SUVs. plus, Jet Li > Chuck Norris (at his current age).

- [insert here] any number of “the world is a crazy place to bring a child into.” think of Baghdad, Mogadishu, Hugo Chavez, USC, pedophiles, smog, Osama’s facial hair, the weakening of the US dollar, ozone depletion, mad bird swine cow flu disease, toy recalls, evil pharmaceutical companies, frivolous lawsuits, child trafficking, DRM, and the like.

-buying a new wardrobe for a pregnant wife. buying pickles and ice cream during the fourth quarter of a Bears game for a pregnant wife. water that breaks.

-to epidural or not to epidural… that is the question.

-diapers. mountains and mountains of diapers. no sleep for a full night. for a very long time. sore backs and arms.

-screening babysitters. paying babysitters. going back home early to let the babysitter go.

-paying about $240,000 over 18 years to raise a child. that’s right, a quarter million dollars.

-unless Nordstrom’s legendary customer service is a reality, you can’t return the kid if you’re not completely satisfied.

-i would hate to spend my child’s life wishing she was grown up.

-i left the gate open today and Wash ran away. will i really do better with mini humans under my care? we bought 9 squash plants this past spring. none of them survived the summer, and we read the articles and followed the directions. how there no parenting license in the billions of governmental regulations?

-all the “what-if’s”… what if the baby has Downs’ syndrome? what if the baby grows up to be a mass murderer? what if i’m a bad parent? what if it looks less like its beautiful momma and more like its wonky daddy?

 

a few choice morsels that other folks came up with:

-in the 12 months after a child is born, sexual activity among average couples drops by more than 40%, with 25% of couples partaking only once a month. that is NOT acceptable.

-parents wishing to offset the C02 emissions resulting from bringing one child into the world would need to plant 1,073 trees.

-60% of mothers say having children caused friendships to be lost.

-childless people save on average 37% by being able to travel and take holidays outside school holidays. and we like to travel.

-women without children earn on average 95% of what men do, whereas women with children earn 75%.

 

Kate is horrified not only at her flabby belly, but the disaster her family has become.

i’m open to any scraps of wisdom anyone may have to toss this dog’s way. comments, please.

Posted in culture and society, life | 14 Comments »

proud enough to burst

Posted by joezissss on September 11, 2009

a student, who i wish i had gotten to know better, but spent some time with at a previous church, just said this and my brain exploded a little bit.

“I think it is interesting that Judaism is a specific following created by God, but Christianity isn’t. We created Christianity, and it is not the only way to Heaven. Jesus is.”

read her thoughts for yourself here.

so good!

Posted in the Church | 1 Comment »