great minds

well, someone beat us to it. kinda. our secret plot (no bombings involved, i promise) is a bit more controversial and will likely offend both sides of the abortion debate. we’ll see if it ever gets off the ground. cheers to Peachtree Presbyterian Church.

moron hell/more on hell

bullet points from notes on hell and some beautiful artwork, too…

–psychoanalytical thought says that guilt inevitably leads to some sort punishment, and if it’s not a literal hell, then persons usually find/create their own hell.

–different names for the being who rules hell: the beast, the deceiver, the father of lies.

–ancient hell: Egyptians were obsessed with immortality, as is evidenced by all the effort they went through simply to protect the physical body. in their art, especially in burial scenes, they painted deserts, crocs, lakes of flame. Egyptian mythology had 7 gates a person had to go through just to get to the entrance of the “afterlife.”  the book of the dead held the rituals and secrets to make it through these gates. Egyptians were the first culture known to believe that there was a soul that lived on after death. the god Osiris gave final judgment. unworthy souls were devoured by Amut (literally “hell mouth.” hmmm.) 

– <– Amut, the sexy beast that was part hippo, croc, and leopard. please note that while being devoured is generally an unpleasant experience, ancient Egyptians preferred to wander the underworld forever than to get eaten and simply cease existing.

–generally in ancient cultures, a person didn’t “go to hell” as much as hell consumed souls. the vast majority of art depicts beasts that consume souls across cultures. 

–Zoroaster, 6th century: Shinva bridge is where judgment takes place. it’s a razor thin bridge. you would start across bridge and only a good person would have a light soul, whilst the evil have heavy souls, and thus fall off the bridge.

 –the Bible: Old Testament only has brief references to hell: Sheol (the grave, the pit, abode of the dead, a gloomy place). it’s the destination of both the righteous and evil. it’s synonymous with separation from God. Isaiah 38:18-19

 –Sheol is not in NT. Hades is NT. Hades (from Greek mythology) is the ruler of the netherworld, as well as the domain itself. scholars assign the same meaning to both, not a place of torment, but just the realm of the dead. the first time hell is mentioned in reference to punishment is in Daniel 12:2.

 –visual depiction: Gehenna: trash heap where refuse was constantly burned. Matt 13:42, 25:41. 2 The: 1:8-9. question: where do theologians get the idea of the absence of the presence of God as the best depiction of hell? why? ancient notions of hell compare it to a lake; changing, undulating. it fits with the idea of anti-God, which is chaotic.

–Augustine felt that in order to appreciate grace, you had to know that the majority of people you knew were going to be damned. (fail, Augustine, fail.) in his Confessions: unbaptized infants could not go to heaven, because of original sin (until baptism). sexual sins were the worst in his book (look at City of God). and even worse than sex was something so vile it hardly bears mentioning: women. (fail again. i loves the ladies. i mean lady. too bad Augustine didn’t.) holy men latched onto his teachings to further their own agendas. especially within the past 300 years, preachers went on and on about the smell, visuals, the carnage, and scared people into the pews. as time went on, churches realized that the spectacle was attracting people, and as so many continue to do till this day, they did what they thought would bring the numbers.

–many early Christian pictures show the “abominable fancy”: the righteous observing the torment of the damned, almost gleefully, as if in the balcony of a theater. hmmm. sounds terrifyingly familiar.

 –Seth, crimson Egyptian God, and Pan, Greek god, half man, half beast with cloven hoofs who ruled sexual desire.

 –the serpent in Genesis was literally just a serpent. that changed once early Christians god their grubby little hands on the text, searching desperately for Satan where he had not previously been. if they’re one and the same, why does God grant Satan dominion over hell? over earth? really? he just cursed him above all wild animals…

 –in the 6th century, Pope Gregory comes up with the 7 deadly sins, calling this the work of the devil now. horns, tail, and much of the medieval Christian notions of Satan spring from imagery rather than scripture. (Alan Segal, Barnard College).

 –by the 10th century, Satan dominates religious art, having many forms, usually large, dark, or black. soon, in Renaissance thought, being far from God is far from light, far from warmth, and then, Satan becomes blue (read: cold). (sometimes portrayed as half human/half animal, or all animal, but blue). anyone who opposes the Catholic church becomes a friend of Satan and is thus depicted in art. it’s easy to find old paintings of Jews, with long hooked noses. Jews doubted the empty tomb, and thus those who doubt the Church become synonymous with Jews. plagues become blamed on those who trade with Jews. in 1236, Pope Gregory 9 condemns the Talmud as a Satanic text. Christians, puzzled by Muslim traditions of bathing frequently (ouch) dub Islamic bath houses temples to the Devil.

–2 poets who formed new perceptions of Hell: Dante Algheri, writer of the Divine Comedy. it’s inspired by events in the author’s life. the Vatican wanted control of all of Tuscany. Dante believed that the Pope should share power with civic authority, so he was arrested and exiled.

 –the Divine Comedy has 9 circles of hell to punish specific sins. punishment goes with the severity of sin. perhaps this is the first time this notion is suggested? the unforgiveable act is betrayal of trust. the 9th circle is occupied by the great traitors. Celestine V is near the gate here (you can wiki why this might be) and Boniface VIII are both at this level. suddenly, Italian artists leave the traditional narratives of the Christian faith and switch to Dante’s version. the DC is translated quickly into every European language.

 –John Milton revolutionized the Devil, portraying him as a warlord with a huge ego. in real life, Milton lost 2 wives, 2 children, and his sight. “Paradise Lost” retells the story of Lucifer’s fall. “better to reign in hell than to serve in heaven” comes straight from the book. generally speaking, it’s hard to identify with God, but this version of Satan has a humanity that is relatable.

 –the problem of Job: Satan is listed here as an angel who tests humans. there’s no indication of timeline here, that the fall has already taken place. (we know how this goes). from Michael Sugrue, Ave Maria University: “Satan makes a wager with God. now this is profoundly diabolical. what could be more futile than betting against God? what are your chances of winning? zero. so why would anyone take such a bet? only to do evil for evil’s sake.”

 –something i personally like about the idea of hell/satan: if Satan has dominion over the earth and hell, i like the idea of revolution and insurrection against the ruling powers. perhaps the song as a whole is a bit cheesy, but the old hymn “this is my father’s world” flies in the face of the one who currently has the reigns… for now.

 –the Apostle’s Creed is written somewhere between the 2nd and 9th centuries. most theologians interpret the phrase “He descended into hell. the third day He arose again from the dead” to indicate not that Jesus had gone to hell for the damned or to battle Satan, but that Jesus had descended to Sheol to free the souls of the righteous who had been waiting there.

 –see Catholic tradition “ the harrowing of hell.” guess which one of Chad’s fave theologians wrote about this odd little doctrine? hint: it rhymes with vermillion.

 special thanks to the history channel for all their research that i’m now relaying.

my midyear’s resolution and it’s first fruit

i decided a month or so ago to try and finish 1 book a month for the remainder of the year. i’m on my way, with my first completed book in a while being written by a local writer, Rebecca Turner. as far as i know, she hasn’t written anything else, which is probably just as good, unless she gets a new editor. i think i could write a 200 page book in one sitting and make fewer grammatical errors. i don’t blame her, i blame her manuscript people, and the people who skimmed the drafts and ok’d them without correcting the numerous errors. but once one gets over that, she has a number of good things to say. the book, Tattoo, features a buff arm with tattoo of the word “tattoo” photoshopped across a buff bicep, which is later identified as belonging to Ken Stone, who i believe is the owner of Fit for Life, which is a local health club. the bottom line question posed is what would possess a person to love a brand or company enough to get their logo tattooed prominently across an easily exposed body part, such as a shoulder or neck? if you had to guess what company it was, i’ll bet you’d decide that it was Harley Davidson–and you’d be correct.

Turner is a financial adviser at a firm i’d never heard of (which is meaningless, coincidentally). she’s obviously a female. her black and white picture on the sleeve shows a middle aged lady in a conservative business suit, more grimacing than smiling alongside the people she works with, none of whom are unfortunate looking, but all are gritting their teeth also. Turner has owned 2 Harleys. hardly predictable, huh?

she has had excellent experiences with a few companies, large and small, local and international, and points out their similarities with ease. the main characteristic is that they have created (willingly or not) what is termed “consumer advocates,” or people who do the advertising and marketing that really sticks and do so completely unsolicited. rare, indeed. there are the usual vaguely inspirational quotes at the beginning of each chapter from quasi-famous people who are known for things other than famous quotes. but the meat of the book is so time specific that it almost is obsolete only 3 years after the first publishing. predictably, she points at Starbucks and their numerous options and the warmth of their staff that leads to massive growth and profitability. of course, any follower of current business events knows that Starbucks is closing stores by the hundreds and cutting back on their business ventures like music production.

all that said, for a rookie author, Ms. Turner has seen some unique things and does a good job describing what it is that can push an average customer over the edge to the point of raving about a company and being that consumer advocate that any company or business would dream of having.

Tattoo isn’t a must read, but is a good opening effort into marketing fare with a local flair for Funkytown aficionados.

*** of *****

in other current news, Chad and i went to his Brite Seminary field year supervisor orientation where i substituted for Krin from Ridglea and was introduced as “Pastor joseph brandley” for the first (and last?) time. truly amusing, especially when Chad leaned over a moment later and asked if i was ordained or not. i’m not. but a while ago back in soCal, we chatted about it and while Chad seemed ready to move forward, i suggested that he give me a set of tasks to prove my worth. or at least ask me 3 questions like in that Monty Python movie. i think i’ll stick to that Herculean task list idea. much more interesting to talk about. one can imagine the conversations later in life…. “when were you ordained?”

“gosh, i don’t remember, it was so long ago and it didn’t really mean much to me other than interesting tax loopholes.”

“oh, i remember the day clearly. it was because i had just smuggled sex slaves out of their Ukranian mafia brothel, dug a well to provide clean water for a bushman tribe in Zambia, swam across the Gulf of Aqaba to evangelize to opium drug lords wearing an Old Navy american flag tee shirt, and then spent 24 hours praying in a kneeling position without standing up or falling asleep. so what did you have to do to get ordained?”

“uhh, i preached a few times and then some old folks wearing plaid and pastel voted in a room while i wasn’t there to give me the papers.”

i win.

ping

dear Kettle One drinkers,

i hope you’ll accept my humble apologies for having left you hanging on the words that i wrote so many days ago. it’s been a busy time in the life of Joseph, with a new cellie, a new job, and a missed chance at vacation thanks to the aforementioned new job. i took a job with a company called Q Hotels that has just opened a new Courtyard by Marriott hotel as of last friday. i am what’s called an operations manager. i manage operations. brilliant flash of a name, yes? operations is the day to day stuff. one may interchange the idea of an assistant general manager (who manages generals) with an operations manager. as this is a select amenity hotel (as opposed to select/limited service, which sounds as though our service is inhibited in some sense) featuring a restaurant and bar, i’m the guy who heads up the restaurant for now. this involved hours with trainers showing us how to flip over easy eggs, how to do inventory, a bit of forecasting, some espresso drinks, and pouring a bottled beer well. we have no soda fountains or beer kegs. even worse, we serve Pepsi (gag!). but all in all, i got a decent raise and a “move forward 4 spaces” card in the game of life. and a free cellie.

it’s been almost 3 weeks since my last day off. i’ve had fevers, chills, headaches, strange mouth sores, and i missed the expenses paid trip to San Diego last weekend with my wife that was supposed to be a summer vacation. but i’m doing well heading into the last day before my first day off. no complaints, unless this blog is a complaint, and it’s not completely like this. is it?

anyway, my good friend Levi now has a blog that he has started with a memorable quote from a little known movie that he showed me last month called Mean Creek. interesting and difficult stuff. he’s a heady guy when he wants to be and he’s got a heart that resembles mine in many ways. please visit it (link is on the blogroll) and comment when you have something to say.

i’m not over the hell issue yet. in fact, i have a few cards up my sleeve that are waiting for a lazy afternoon to slip out. so stay tuned for that. i just thought that i would pop my head in (to my own blog, right?) and say hello to you since it’s been too long.

cheers.