marching orders

much time and hot air is spent on talking about what followers of Christ should be doing with their lives. or not doing. or saying and not saying. or not thinking. or thinking. and it’s a huge mess. i’m very interested in understanding (and then acting upon)  how we should live and what sets apart a believer from a follower and why, frankly and devastatingly, being a believer is not enough. there’s a fallacy that subtly allows Christians, should they choose to internalize a certain popular belief system, to let themselves off a hook that is actually far sharper and far more deeply embedded than they realize. and while this post springs from a memory of an exercise conducted during a theology class dealing with old testament versus new testament, i can’t get there yet since i’m tired. i’m exhausted and it feels like i’ve been holding my breath for a very long time now, swimming frantically from the bottom of a very deep ocean. beams of sunlight are dancing around me with increasing intensity as i get closer to the surface, and i know that if i can simply refrain from inhaling water, that i’ll be ok in a few strokes, a few seconds. but omigod, how slowly those seconds slide by. like Chinese water torture. or American water boarding, more appropriately.

and i wonder what i could possibly say to the interrogator to convince it that i’ll do what it wants.

the Chinese, although their oppressive communist government does some pretty awful things, get a bum rap about torture. think of all the great things they have brought to the world. like fireworks. and pandas. and chow mein. and water torture. you just can’t get away from it.

so i attempt to address the questions begging, at the table, looking pathetic with big, soft puppy eyes: what is following? what is believing? over the course of about 20 minutes, i started reading through the gospel of Matthew. the following sentences are recorded orders Jesus gave. things that Jesus said “do” which may reasonably be applied to a general audience, to anyone who has ears, rather than a direct command to an individual or specific group.

think of this as an introduction to steps, broad or narrow, that are only paces behind Jesus as he walks. as he leads. there are a lot of them. and i stopped after my eyes crossed from staring at a computer screen after many hours of work. but there were a lot of laws and instructions given to Israel. and as Jesus came not to abolish the law, but to fulfill it, perhaps these orders take a new precedence? perhaps not. but be blessed by the very words (as best as we know) of Jesus Christ, Son of David, Son of Man, Son of God.

-repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is near.

-come, follow me and i will make you fishers of men.

-let your light shine before men that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

-do not think that i have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets.

-anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment.

-if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. first go and be reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift.

-settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court.

-if your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out. if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off.

-do not swear at all, either by heaven… or by the earth… let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no.’

-do not resist an evil person… turn the other cheek… let the one who sues you take your tunic, and let him have your cloak as well… give to the one who asks you.

-love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you… be perfect.

-be careful not to do your acts of righteousness before men.

-when you give to the needy, do so discreetly.

-when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites. go into your room. close the door and pray. don’t keep on babbling like pagans in prayer.

-this is how you should pray: our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name…

-when you fast, do not look somber… put oil on your head and wash your face.

-do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth. store up treasures in heaven.

-do not worry about your life… or about tomorrow.

-do not judge. do not give to dogs what is sacred or throw pearls to pigs.

-ask. seek. knock.

-do to others what you would have them do to you.

-watch out for false prophets.

-go, and learn what this means: ‘i desire mercy, not sacrifice.’

-(since workers are few), ask the Lord of the harvest to send out workers into his harvest field.

-as you go, preach this message: ‘the Kingdom of heaven is near.’ heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. freely you have received, freely give.

-don’t be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul.

-come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and i will give you rest.

i’m trying to go to Jesus, with every ounce of effort i have left in me. where are you going?

eating the first commandment

Eve admires Adam's fro while Adam worries about his job description.

the very first commandment that God gave human-kind is found in Genesis 1. in literature, order is consistently and intentionally used to convey chronology or importance. literally translated, God said, “be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the heavens, and over every animal that moveth on the earth.” God speaketh in olde Englishe! other than that one King, you heard it here first.

one verse’s translation says “I have given to you every herb sowing seed…” and so forth which in my professional opinion, loses meaning in today’s culture. normally, bestowing a gift to someone or giving something of great value and important implies certain expectations, namely, don’t muff this up.

with our modern notions of ownership and responsibility (or lack thereof), these ancient Scriptures are easily twisted to mean any number of things. just ask most of the GOP.

as the words “plunder” or “pillage” or “take complete advantage of” are conspicuously absent from God’s mouth in reference to the world and all things in it, let’s assume that the previous verses are important where God says “fill the earth, subdue it, and rule over every fish…” and so on. another translation says “have dominion over the fish… fowl… and animal…”

that’s a rich phrase. ruling demands care, intelligence, accountability, and a desire for the best for those in the Ruler’s care.

all you human beings out there, own this. claim it. it’s yours, like it or not. you are responsible for the earth and all in it. and unfit rulers don’t last. they face revolutions and uprisings and backlash and the like. Marky-Mark’s The Happening-style. ok. kinda kidding. but kinda not.

it’s halfway through February, but it’s never too late for a top 6 list for the new year, right? right. without further ado, whatisEikon pridefully presents simple things you can do to take better care of your home planet. at least until we find a new one.

the Sushi Sushi chef is good with knives. and he'll cut you if you don't follow these instructions.

1. eat sushi differently. some of the seafood out there is harvested carelessly, even dangerously to our environment. the Environmental Defense Fund has a list of Eco-Best, Eco-JustOK, and Eco-Villainous fishies. so that fluorescent pink glowing dye-injected farm raised “Atlantic/Norwegian/farm raised” salmon you see constantly on sale at the grocery store? move right on by and get the real, wild-caught Pacific or Alaskan salmon. not only does it taste better, it is free of PCBs, a toxic industrial compound. kudos to the EDF for not just listing this info, but for showing actual results with several former Eco-Worst seafood groups having been upgraded due to ecologically safer fishing practices and simply ceasing over-harvesting.

2. be neighborly. beef and lamb are carbon intensive, chicken and pork are less so. ever driven by a cattle ranch? notice the stench? that’s methane, which is a potent greenhouse gas, meaning its presence in our atmosphere traps heat from the sun and the earth rather than allowing it to escape. but more on that in a minute. purchasing locally grown meats and produce does a number of things: it supports the local economy, reduces the energy usage (and therefore cost) of transporting food, reduces the materials used to package and protect foods, which are primarily paper and plastic, ensures freshness, and helps limit your exposure to food-born diseases. as smaller, local farmers are supremely interested in turning profits on a smaller scale than large corporations, and thus, limiting waste, they harvest only when they can sell product. community supported agriculture is a growing concept in the US, and really, has stayed that way for much of the world, but by another name: good sense. take care of your city or town by purchasing goods and services from local sellers, and they’ll take care of you. rather than, say, outsourcing everything in sight. Scott, don’t hate.

the deadly side of the day we celebrate the birth of St. Valentine.

3. show us your “O” knowledge. yes, i’m using the O word. and you should be all about your O, too. for instance, the Department of Agriculture is tightening restrictions on what can be termed organic dairies. because let’s be honest here–you want the cows that produce the milk you pour on your cereal to be fed things they would naturally eat. like grass. and not plastic pellets that might contain pee or poo. because that’s gross. so cows that get to roam out on pastures get exercise for a little bit longer each year. and they can’t be force fed steroids or hormones like Mark McGwire. or the Guvono of Kalee Foneya. and here’s another good thought: don’t poison the people you love. pesticides used on flowers are more concentrated and poisonous than those used on fruits and veggies. and what’s the first thing your girlfriend or mommy does when you hand her a bouquet?

4.  creatively display your romantic side. ditch the flowers.  or at least get bouquets grown in-state. or consider buying a potted flowering plant native to your area. to be fair, there is some debate about this topic. to grow flowers in the UK, one needs a greenhouse that uses energy to maintain a warm temperature. Kenya’s high commissioner to Britain points out that energy used to transport African flowers to Britain is actually less than the energy used to heat greenhouses. and it provides a valuable export to an impoverished nation, and jobs to small farmers and their families. that said, know what you’re buying. take a few minutes to research what you support financially.

Ann Christy is in elbow deep. so don't mess with the mullet!

5. cover your poo. ok, don’t do anything but flush your poo, but there’s lots of playing with poo going on in the world of science. especially cow poo. tOSU prof Ann Christy has found that a half liter of microbe-filled fluid from a cow’s stomach produces as much energy as a AA battery. in the future, you could have a small appliance attached to a 2 liter bottle of cow bile! think of how nice it would be to use that electric toothbrush or portable razor every morning!  many dairies are combining cow waste into lagoons or covering piles of it with tarps and attaching digesters and converted engines to run trucks or pour power into electric grids.

6. if solid waste is not your thing, save your pee instead.

ok, i realize that these might be in order of decreasing usefulness for the average Joe. but it’s good to know that there are lots of little things anyone can do to help honor God’s first recorded command to humankind, from knowing what you’re buying, to joyfully flinging excrement for the betterment of planet Earth.

places to visit before you die. and stupid Americans.

Bucket List place to see #18

Stoopid American.

a hindsightful shudder

question: how many grammatical errors can you find in the following “sentence?”

Have Meg take the news miner off the press release address list for a few days,see how long it takes them to realize their not on the list.

that is an exact quote of an email sent from someone who was nearly a 74 year old’s heartbeat away from being the First Spouse, or as he prefers, the First Dude. how charmingly west coast of him.

i count three errors not including that the News-Miner is a newspaper company, and therefore, a proper noun. that’s something the author new fool wel, (*cringe! it hurts to write like that.)

i’m well aware that in most of my writings, the rules of capitalization are generally ignored, but as a humanities teacher once told me before i skipped off to college, once you’ve mastered the rules, you may then break them. you be the judge of my prowess with (or hatchet job of) the English language.

* * * * *

in response to current events and the word choices of the President’s Chief of Staff, the governor of Texas, and a conservative talking head, it’s timely to look at the things we say. earlier, i pondered the names Black people call each other and that homosexuals call each other and that people outside both groups use to refer to said groups and how poorly things usually go for those outsiders.

i can’t think of an instance where mentally retarded folks organized themselves to advance an agenda, and it should be self-evident that good human beings must stand up for those who might be otherwise taken advantage of through no fault of their own. (<–that sentence took some rewriting. i hope is it truthful and kind.)

so, what’s in a word?

think of what Rahm Emanuel said in private about liberal activists wanting to run attack ads (calling them “f—ing retarded,” and these are, to a small extent, his own peeps here!) in contrast to Gov. Rick Perry’s political consultant/spokesperson said about a potential debate set-up (“That’s just retarded. That’s the most retarded thing I’ve ever heard.” — Dave Carney) in contrast to what Rush Limbaugh said (“Our political correct society is acting like some giant insult’s taken place by calling a bunch of people who are retards, retards”).

i’m sure that most of the people who give a flying squirrel turd what Sarah Palin says are in Nashville drooling over her alleged exceeding good looks and political savvy and not here at whatiseikon, so let’s not care one bit that she’s only offended by the non-Rebuplican/Tea Party use of the word “retard” or any derivative of it. ok?

ok.

i don’t know where to look for cultural formation and norms, and certainly, something as obscure as a dictionary or encyclopedia is a poor place to start. or is it? i really don’t know. i DO know that we are told to treat others as we desire to be treated. i also know that one reaps what one sows. i also know that the drunkards and prostitutes and lepers and IRS employees and other social outcasts are the closest to the Kingdom of Heaven… not the politicos or the mega-church pastors or the pilots who fly the pastors around on their top-secret non-existent-other-than-FAA-records-showing-flights-to-exotic-and-tropical-locales-paid-for-by-church-members-who-don’t-know-their-tithes-purchased-a-private-aircraft.

using the word ‘retard’ is:  derogatory and unkind (Dictionary of American Slang and Colloquial Expressions), often offensive (the American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language), and disparaging (Random House Dictionary).

yet, as a culture uses its language to communicate, these are real words. they have set meanings. the chicken or egg conundrum exists here in its most basic form. is the word bad? you’d be hard pressed to prove that. can you use it badly or hurtfully? can you use it neutrally? can you use it technically and appropriately? yes, yes, and yes.

i’ve used the word before. and i can confidently say that i wasn’t picturing a little boy with an extra 21st chromosome or an autistic teenage girl when i used them. but is it potentially hurtful or mean-spirited? certainly. but a lot of things have the potential to inflict pain. for instance, babies. Charlie bit my finger. or band-aids. have you every skinned an elbow post-puberty? ever removed more than a few hairs along with the bandage before a shower? or flowers. Texas is ranked in the top few states worst for allergy sufferers. that’s me! the repeated sneezing till your throat is torn to shreds, the anaphylactic shiners, the raw, burned skin of your nose from too many tissues. Valentine’s Day is next week, boys.

it’s fair to say that purpose or intent can’t consistently predict outcomes. i’m learning more and more that while we judge our own lives by our intentions, we judge others’ by their behavior. and as far as we are usually concerned, we deserve the benefit of the doubt, and not them.

so, an innocuous word or object yielded with or without malice can benefit to the surrounding world. or it can do great harm.

is the culture that has pain or injury as a byproduct an evil culture? is the culture that allows for some pain or injury an evil culture? can a part of the culture be evil without the entire culture being branded as evil? can an imperfect part of culture exist without damning the entire culture?

for my part, i have tried to purge the usage of the adjective/adverb ‘gay’ from my vocabulary. yes, it communicates, but not all of gaydom (apparently, it’s not a word yet, as is evidenced by the red squiggly line underneath it) is awkward or nonathletic or flamboyant or not beneficial to me. and thus, to label something other than a homosexual person as gay isn’t entirely true. thus, there are other, even better, words to describe it.

for any readers convicted enough to put their virtual “x” on the dotted line in the stand against the offensive use of the R word, please join Rahm and 57,000 plus people in signing on to the effort to “spread the word to end the word.”*

*surely they could have come up with a better catch-phrase. it sounds so… so… annihilatory. and the target of annihilation isn’t clear.

Sucker Punch

i watched a good episode of Castle last night. the takeaway is this: eddie vedder makes me look like luciano pavarotti. if this cow, whose singing puts infant chalkboards and baby train brakes to sleep, can moo and make millions, surely there’s hope for my multi-platinum record future.

2010′s first

i have little to write. little to say. very little that i can say in a remotely public space, even though this blog is a dark corner of the interweb at best. thus, the silence.

my firefox at home has whatiseikon as its homepage, and every time i open it in firefox (rather than, say, Chrome… does anyone other than the computer illiterate home salespeople michelle works with actually use IE any more?) i grimace at the cool blue background and the cheery pictures remotely linked to from a rarely refreshed flickr account. i actually couldn’t remember what flickr is called as i type this and had to google “pictures,” where flickr is the fifth result. how pathetic is that?

my book reading midyear’s resolution was unsuccessful, to put it kindly. i still am slogging my way through Sophie’s World, Branding Faith, and haven’t even picked up Speed of Trust except for the fact that it’s in my bag, and every time i pick up my bag, i’m technically picking up that book. as though you needed more evidence to my painful life recently, i was given a Glenn Beck book by my in-laws last time they were out here. it sat under piles of dusty rubbish on my desk until right around the beginning of december when i realized with a shock, i’m going to their house for Christmas and there’s a damn good chance they’re going to ask me about it. so i read for a few hours here and there and waiting anxietously (not anxiously) for the impending conservative talking-point deluge. it never came. i saw an identical sunflower yellow copy of Common Sense (which ironically and generously is self-paired with Thomas Paine’s pamphlet of the same name) on the Allison’s coffee table over Christmas and nearly blacked out with dread. but other than a spirited talk about health care over leftover pizza and a stern warning from Barb to michelle that she’d best be careful, because people are really upset with the President and there could be a revolution coming… so stock the pantry… nothing. (you can’t make this stuff up. apparently, the Bush ratings, ranging from 58 – 72% DISAPPROVING depending on which polls you read, don’t count. and as Obama won roughly 52% of the popular vote in the general election, his all-time personal low of a 49-50% approval rating indicates that a lunatic fringe is rising and is becoming an overwhelming majority. if you listen to Glenn or Rush. and you’re ready to march on DC. and donning a Boston tea party get-up or your latest NRA “members only” mock turtleneck, take on the military you so steadfastly support. because you’re mad as hell, and you’re taking the power back.)

irony, anyone?

anyway, here’s the shocker: i agreed with about 60% of what Beck says. brush aside the name-calling (Beck hurls a few half-hearted insults at Republicans to promote a “fair and balanced” view) and the insults (cockroaches, traitors, liars, thieves, etc. clever fellow, that guy), and he actually has some truly interesting stuff to say. i’m pretty sure that our current nation’s financial system is a house of cards waiting for the world to sneeze. i’m pretty sure that most public servants we “hired” to work for us in Washington have their own interests at heart far above their entire constituency, that gerrymandering is hogwash, and that a two party system, while designed with good intentions, forces legitimate candidates to water down their ideals to work within the system itself to get elected.

the other 40% is typical huffing and puffing and posturing. and hogwash.

but you don’t care what i think about Glenn. at least you shouldn’t.

and i can’t really say much else. not now. not about work. or church. or about my/our future. which in turn makes me ask the maddening question about the location of my locus of control. internal or external? am i biding my time or sulking? am i calculating or cowardly?

suffice it to say that i’m glad for a new year but all this waiting is making me ill.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

fun figures with Pee Paw!

Berkeley is 119% more expensive than Fort Worth. Housing is the biggest factor in the cost of living difference. Housing is 481% more expensive in Berkeley, a 261 index compared to the US average. omfg.

i would need to make $83,000 a year, only a slight increase (please note sarcasm), to maintain our standard of living. oh yeah: fees and tuition run about $26,000 for non-residents.

New Haven is 27% more expensive than Fort Worth. Utilities are the biggest factor in the cost of living difference, at 41% more expensive. Yale is $32,500 for a year of grad school.

RISD tuition + fees is $36,659, which i guess is a thumb at the nose of anyone priced less. Providence is 32% more expensive than Fort Worth. Housing is 87% more expensive… which means a salary increase of just over $50k.

governance, the two party system, and lawbreaking in the State of Offense

what is the anatomy of pride?  what beat-down loser flush with learned helplessness came up with the idea that sticks and stones harm more than words?

if i call someone, especially a black someone, a nigger, i’m liable to be assaulted, physically and in the media, for insensitivity and hate and ignorance.

a black person calls another black person nigga with any number of derogatory adjectives with no repercussion. in the words of bounty hunter Jubal Early, does that seem right to you?

a black person calls a white person a cracker or any number of things and most people laugh or shrug it off.

i call a person a fag and it must be because i’m secretly harboring repressed homosexual desires or because i’m a Christian or i’m ignorant or i’m homophobic (actually scared of gays? really?).

according to various murmurings, the gay community is attempting to salvage  (redeem?) the term by liberally calling each other fags. you know, desensitization and all. it doesn’t cause as much anxiety after so many applications of mean words.

my blonde sister-in-law tells blonde jokes. i laugh. as i returned pillows at Macys yesterday, the black sales associate with black hair had a self-proclaimed blonde moment. i thought it odd, but my blonde wife didn’t even bat an eyelash. and she’s an actual blonde.

i’m half Korean. my mom is fully Korean (the good kind). i’m proud of the exotic half of my ethnicity. it’s a good conversation piece. i haven’t worn the clothes much. i’m not sure who the president of South Korea is. there’s definitely a good portion of SoKo (what hipsters call it. just kidding. i’m totally full of $h!+) history where they got pushed around, i believe by Japan, and i know there’s some lingering resentment there. but not on my part. not on my mom’s part, either. i know that Seoul’s the capital city. i know my dad was in Pyongyang, near Panmunjom. but i had to look up how to spell those cities. but is that enough? can i be accused of being not proud enough?

i’m not sure if i’m proud of the white part of me. i’m not at all ashamed. don’t get me wrong but pride in one’s whiteness conjures images of pointy pillow case hoods and burning  crosses.

when i was in fourth grade, George, a lanky and popular Mexican classmate, called me a “dirty Korean” during a soccer game. it didn’t roll off his tongue at all and everyone just kinda wrinkled their noses at his less than funny attempt at an insult. it wasn’t that they were horrified at his cultural insensitivity. it was simply less than laugh-worthy.

i wasn’t embarrassed or sad. i think i was just as confused as everyone else, because a minute ago George had asked me if i was Chinese. i wasn’t.  i was Korean, though.

i don’t know what reputation Korea (the good one) has in the world. i know the food rules. i know the folks i’ve met at Korean churches are generous and kind and welcoming. but that might be just because it was a church.

once, i was mocked for being a virgin. but i didn’t blush. i was a little jealous that the insulter had already made it with a girl, but it didn’t hurt my feelings, nor did i feel the need to defend the honor of virgins worldwide. i was born a virgin. but i’m not one any more.

Paul said that in Christ, there is neither virgin nor veteran sex-haver, blonde nor bald, North or South Korean, proud or embarrassed American.

or something like that.

i wonder how far to take that. Chad says inflammatory things like you lose your rights once you sign on with Jesus. you submit yourself to the kingship of God to be a part of the Kingdom of Heaven. you lose the right to respond to a slight with anything but a turned cheek. you lose the basis for demanding an apology. you lose the right to expect sympathy. and this isn’t just in terms of your faith—because even if in modern society, life can be compartmentalized, i submit to you that modern society is not always correct. and a holistic, even more truthy view of life demands that faith not be set against work or family or friends or personal life.

even if you reject this premise or observation of reality, people are far too sensitive. people are mean. but people also leave things open-ended, frequently in art and in writing. of course being in the public eye widens the ripple any dropped stone might make in life. a private letter usually only reaches the recipient. the post-game press conference for the Super Bowl reaches a far wider audience. and a player’s slightly vague response to an innocuous question might be speculated about for weeks on sports radio and television.

so when someone writes a book that talks about character and the many traps and enemies of integrity but uses a thread in the title, content, marketing, and appearance of ninjas, among other things, people can see what they want. one of the bigger complaints about the Deadly Viper Character Assassins is that Asian people are displayed in a menacing manner. i’m literally dumbfounded. they are NINJAS. and by nature, as assassins, are scary. you wake up in the middle of the night and see a ninja in your room, you’re about to die (or be rescued in a totally awesome fashion).

other points of conflict are: confusion of Japanese and Chinese letters/characters, usage of Asian objects and symbols in a manner that is not honoring to the cultures they represent (kimonos, samurai, etc.), a line in the book that compares a made-up Chinese sounding name to a communicable disease.

Asians sound off here, here, and here.

there’s a little back and forth here at Church Marketing Sucks, which initially gave a good review to the book, then once the offended parties raised their collective voices, backed off and opened a forum for discussion.

ultimately, i’m having a tough time wading through the crap on both sides and figuring out why people are offended. some of the most eloquent responses fall along the lines of “we just are. why can’t you see that?” some of the more prominent responders are having a great day increasing their site hits by trolling various sites and linking back to their blogs while deleting opposing viewpoints from their own blog comments.

i don’t believe the authors intended to be hurtful or malicious or demeaning. most of the voices seem to agree, but feel that apologies are owed (they’ve since been given to some extent) and that more reconciliation is needed.

and so i’m examining myself to see where i’m hurtful and racist and unintentionally damaging to the kingdom i profess to be a part of, and from what i currently see, being offended and being offense don’t even necessarily go hand in hand. i’m not a journalist or a constitutional defender, but it seems that saying “x” might get you into trouble simply because someone heard you say that particular letter and felt “z” about it. freedom of speech is one of the stakes in this conversation.

we’re taught early on that words can’t harm. and then we’re taught that words can hurt more than broken bones. but looking back on the schoolyard rhyme, i think there’s a line missing about the thickness of our collective and individual skin.

only 49 days left in this year. good riddance.

i was taking a shower when my cook called. 3 times. at 5.57 am, and my wife is sick and had trouble falling asleep. the voicemail went something like this: hey, it’s Juan. i won’t be able to open the kitchen today… i had some trouble with the police.” so i scurry in to the hotel and start doing the stuff i know how, like baking scones, starting oatmeal, frying some potatoes.

Juan finally scurries in and tells me about how he’s napping yesterday and hears a banging on the door, and a loud voice demanding that Juan Ayala open the door because it’s the police, scumbag. ok, i just added scumbag because that’s what the tellie always portrays. anyhoo, it turns out that after a long night in jail for a car break-in, then getting transferred to Mansfield, that there is, omg, more than one Juan Ayala in texas. whoops.

a new cook starts training friday, which means that at long last, 4 months after being opened, after psychopaths and meddling owners, i am fully staffed with a staff that i (mostly) hand-picked. and that means no more unrequested 5.30 AM wake up calls. and hopefully, no more split shifts. and hopefully some time off over one of the next 3 holidays. and maybe, just maybe, 2 days off a week.

in other news, Just Bekah has yet another thought that you must share with her. i can’t believe she’s doing this as a college frosh. apparently the way of Jesus just might be to take what you need in life and give what you don’t away. it just might change the world. or at least feed it for a day.

i wrote a letter to my grandma in june and didn’t get to send it from north carolina like i’d wanted because it’s hard to find a post office in Asheboro. i need to write a new one. i haven’t written a prayer email to my prayer ninjas in many many months. but i did meet with my mentor last month at Joe’s on Hulen and had devoured some delicious ravioli whilst chatting about being married, engaged, and a follower of Jesus Christ.

my work email addy might be compromised. and it might be my fault for following a link from “business continuity team,” whatever that means. is it bad if you trust marriott enough to enter your address and passcode into a non-marriott site at the behest of marriott?

i need to blog more. i need to be more productive with my time. i need to go see Christmas lights more than once this year. i need to read faster. i still don’t want kids. i’m praying that Russ gets his job offer from Bank of America. and that they finally cut him his commission check from 2 months ago. i need to understand how to treat people well because i respect them. i need to fight through my cynicism and arrogance and respect people. at least a little bit more. and i have a doozy of a blog coming soon. i’m proud of being Korean, but not really THAT proud. more to come.

plaid is in, flannelgrams: out.

Target advertises its self-proclaimed appeal to frugalistas by showing models who would never wear clothes from Target without being paid to do so. michelle says that you can almost never find the clothes being worn in ads in the stores.

i just got an amazon.com giftcard from my in-laws last month. combined with a card from Charter (something for nothing? go figure), i got a bunch of new cds and a dvd. among them is Emiliana Torrini’s “Love in the Time of Science.” i’m having a heckuva time remembering how i found out about her, but the record is blowing my mind. inside and out. especially the last seventy-five seconds. same country as Bjork, this girl. hmmm. something to that.

Pepsi’s local bottler stopped delivering Ethos water to my hotel. now they’re trying to push Aquafina on me. ugh.

i saw this trailer a while back, and my mentor has already been to see it for free at the Modern (which has a deal with Magnolia Pictures, apparently???). while i’ve been a radio fan of the White Stripes since “fell in love with a girl”, i’m beginning my education in rock and roll with my first White Stripes cd, aptly titled “the White Stripes.” so help you God, all you who find yourselves with me and a guitar in the same room.

the books i’m currently reading: Sophie’s World (which i first killed in humanities my senior year of high school), Speed of Trust by 7 Habits author Stephen Covey’s son Stephen Covey (isn’t that the height of arrogance-or hope-to name your kid after yourself?), and Branding Faith by Phil Cooke.

i saw geese, hundreds of them, flying south as i was driving home from work today. it made me simultaneously feel triumphant and sad enough to cry. the V’s weren’t perfect, but they were long and they were many and the V’s intersected. maybe my eyes were tricking me, but i swear some of the geese towards the back were simply floating, not even flapping their wings, just resting and riding the air that their precursors and leaders had put in motion.  it made me think about the Church.

did you know that a V formation is an aerodynamic way to fly? did you know that geese, when tired, fall towards the back of the V because it requires less effort than to be at the forefront? did you know there was a contest recently that took submissions to improve air transportation and that one of the more intriguing ideas was having passenger aircraft fly in a similar formation to save fuel if their destinations were relatively nearby? it made me think about the Church.

after hearing artist Susan Rothenberg talk for an hour about horses and how she was never a horse girl but drew and painted them for years, adding and subtracting, hiding and exposing, i’m wondering if artists simply start off thinking way too much about life as children but actually do something about it to share with the world, unlike philosophers. it made me think about the Church.

see one of Susan’s horses. run, run, run.

See Susan paint. Paint. Paint. Paint.